It's been a week since I got to New England and I did do my good memory collecting.  I met with some old friends and laughed and remembered.  I went back to Mansfield and saw the house I grew up in and the trees were gone.  The one the front I use to climb and sit in for hours.  The house was the same and the garage I rode on for some funny pictures was still there.  Lots of good times came back.

I thought I would come up here and see the places I was once happy at and remember for one last time and maybe hopefully I would or could regain my smile, my old self.  Funny thing is I did.  I did feel my old self, I laughed, giggled, smiled and was very happy and it was in an unexpected place and with an unexpected person.  I am grateful for that one last smile, warmed my heart.  I want more, oh so much more of that.  But all things must come to an end.

Tomorrow I am going to the spot I have reflected upon in my head for years.  I will visit it one last time and wait.  Wait for the hand of God so I can ask him why he showed me such happiness several times only to take them away quickly.  Tonight I will drink and celebrate life for who knows what tomorrow brings.  I am sorry to those whom I have offended in the past and to those whom I will offend.  Forgive me, I am but a man with a broken heart with questions for God.  Happiness and good will to all.