It was raining this morning when I went for my walk and swim.  It wasn't that hard cold rain we usually get here in Texas; it was a soft warm tearful rain.  I guess there were so many tears shed last night in my home and a good friend's that the Angels cried.  I got news that a good friend’s father passed.  She said he was in a lot pain so it’s an accepted blessing; he is now not in pain but in God's loving embrace.  I knew her father when I was a very young man.  He treated me with kindness, patience, and respect.  I know he was one of the smartest men I have had the pleasure of knowing.  I didn’t know until recently he trusted me with one of his most precious treasures, that touched me and made his passing more meaningful today for me.  The news brought back all the memories of loves ones in my life who have passed, my sister (Colleen), my brother (Brian), my mother, a childhood friend (Billy Forbes), and yes, an unborn child (Andrew Thomas) which is the hardest of all to bear.  My heart goes out to anyone who has lost a loved one.  Tina and I cried for the losses we have endured over these past years that have driven us apart.  We are working on mending that gap, so bear with me if in the next few months I post odd or incomplete thoughts.  At times my heart feels as though it is going to burst with such sadness that I shake and cry.  I thank God for my Tina, she is my rock right now and I know if we had had Andrew Thomas my Tina would not be here today to help me on this long hard journey.  I am sorry if I made you cry but I had to say these words.   We each must bear the weight of losing loved ones; it’s the circle of life as my good friend said last night.  I just hope I get to see those old friends back in New England.  I regret I didn’t keep in touch.  I am ashamed of it.  I will try to make it up if you will let me old friends.