314.8! Yes that’s what the scales said after my walk and swim this morning.  I am slowly doing it, one step at a time.  I will reach my goal, my prize, my reward, my life.  Today my mind is elsewhere.  On things it shouldn’t be and worrying about things that are close at hand.  I have a court date today for a ticket I received last month, one I feel I didn’t deserve.  I will pay the fine but I would like my day in court.  Wish me luck or pray for me which ever you do best.

To anyone out there watching my slow hard journey and wanting to make your own journey, all I can say is you have to find that motivation, that reason, that cause for you and you alone.  It will take a great many steps to get there but you deserve that reward, that prize, your life, your happiness.  Your journey may not be losing weight, it maybe something else.  We each have many journeys in our lives, paths that lead to somewhere we believe is happiness.  We often fear to stray down those paths for fear of being lost.  I know it has kept me from my true happiness at times, that fear.  I carry so much baggage with my heart and I wonder if I am a tormented soul, not to know or have what I want in my heart.  I think this long hard journey I am on is more than just the weight loss, it’s more. I will get through all of this, I have to.  Slay that which torments, my own personal demons.

Christmas of '13.