The sugar crashes are getting worse and worse.  This morning I woke up at 62 and dropping with sweat and heat.  Tina says I have to watch myself and possibly have a snack before bedtime.  I did last night had a small glass of tomato juice, it didn't help.  As she says, I have to find the right mixture to make it all work.   Yesterday was an emotional wreckage for me but I ma hanging in there, I have to.

Got up later than usual this morning for my walk and I had a walking partner this morning ("Surprise, Surprise, Surprise" said in the best Gomer Pyle voice)  Tina joined me on the walk and swim.  We talked, or I talked, guess it was my turn to do the talking and she well, was suppose to carry the weights.  I had started carrying weights, just some 2 pounders on each wrist, trying to push myself more.  Tina just told me I was a Chatty Cathy Doll the WHOLE walk.  Didn't even know it, just trying to get back to life.

This is a lot work, I aint going to fool you in to thinking its easy But, living is a hard thing.  Really LIVING in the here and now is hard, you really have to work at everything in your life to make it all work.  I understand that, I see that, now I have own it, believe it, live it.  I don't know if that makes sense for anyone else but that's whats coursing through my brain.  I have hung on to too much baggage and I need to let it go.  Its hard, very hard.  How does one let go of those bad things and the I-Should-haves.  I know the Should-haves can always be attempted again but the bad things people said and did to oneself, how do you get passed that, specially when the person is gone and they were, well, family, a parent?  OK, I am starting to cry better stop and get my ass in gear for the day's activities.  I can do this!  I have to do this!  I want to be around for years to come, who else is going to be the smartass for y'all? (your suppose to laugh there.)  Remember you can comment (or tell me I am full of Sh*t) by commenting here or on FB, or email me if you want it to be private.  My heart and mind are open even for small chit chat.