This morning was not a good one.  The beast won that round; she reached out and shook my serenity.  I let my guard down.  It stemmed from yesterday’s event, the ticket court.  Needless to say I did not win; I didn’t even get a chance to voice my side.  I took the deal, the safest way out, cheap and nothing against my driving record.  I was strongly urged to take it as I would never win because the city had made sure no one could win that situation.  I was pissed, to say the least.  I went to bed early not taking my nightly snack to carry my blood sugar level through the night and into the morning.  I, without thinking, had taken the medicine that drives that sugar level down as well.  I got up and my sugar was extremely low, so I was drained of my strength.  An old college friend of mine posted a video of his favorite vacation spot, a home right there on the beaches of Maine.   Thank you Chris, it was a lovely video.  My wife and I watched it and I broke down hearing the sounds of the beach I so miss very much.  The gentle washing of the waves against that beautiful grey sand, the screech of a seagull, it got to me.  The memory of it crashed into my soul like one of those waves and gave that beast a chance to lash out at me. 

When I was first dating Tina, she took me to the coast of Texas.  I had never been to the coast of Texas for the 20+ years I had been in Texas.  I was expecting what I had felt in Maine, at her beaches, and I was let down.  My wife was so proud of the beaches here in Texas, she had never know my mistress of the oceans.  I tried to explain to her how it didn’t measure up, how the sights and smells were beyond description and comparison.  She wasn’t happy.  I took Tina and Tesia on a road trip a year or so later to Maine to visit my Dad in Kennebunk Port, Maine.  I showed them the beaches; they fell in love with her.  Tina understood what I meant and agreed that the New England coast was a little slice of heaven here on earth.  It was the first disagreement I won with my wife and would be the only for years. (Smile.  Laugh now.)  You married men know what I mean, we do not win many of those battles, we are wrong even when we are right.  I am still trying to figure that one out. 

I still wrestle with that beast this morning.   I did my walk and my swim with that ever determination to get to my goal, my prize, my reward, my LIFE.  I am at 314 and still have a long hard journey ahead of me.  I am the only one who can make this journey.  I have to be strong not only for myself but those loved ones around me.

Christmas of ‘13